


As the Shield Breaks

by Beloved_nalla



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angry Thorin, Bilbo POV, Heartbreak, M/M, Thorin POV, Thorin in a rage, destructive Thorin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-27
Updated: 2014-07-24
Packaged: 2018-02-06 10:05:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 12,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1854076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beloved_nalla/pseuds/Beloved_nalla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo and Thorin have problems :(</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think :)

Bilbo sat at the small table in his kitchen that was attached to the king’s chambers. He found comfort in eating alone at times. Peacefulness came from the quiet of the small room. He liked dining with the dwarves at times, but there were nights when he needed simplicity and quiet.

He had just finished the last of his meal when the door opened in the main common room. He could hear Thorin son of Thrain stomping across the stone floor, making his way through the rooms. The hobbit stood, clearing the table of his dishes and moving to stand at the counter.

Bilbo had just begun to clean his plate when he heard Thorin enter the room. Bilbo continued with his task, while Thorin began to speak. 

“Why were you not at supper, Master Baggins?” His tone was harsh and accusing, as if Bilbo had a prior engagement more important than sharing a meal with his husband and the company of other dwarves. 

“I ate in tonight, as you very well know I like to do on occasion, Master Dwarf.” 

Thorin was silent for a brief moment before approaching the Halfling. 

“I am tired of your selfishness, Halfling.” Thorin grabbed the hobbit’s hips, his hands rough and calloused. 

“Shall I remind you of whom you belong?” 

Bilbo pulled away from Thorin, pushing his hands away and turning to face the King under the Mountain. 

“I belong to no one, Thorin. Not even you.” 

The king’s expression was that of anger and greed. 

“You are mine!” Thorin shouted, closing the distance between him and the hobbit. “You will not refuse me.” Thorin was close enough for Bilbo to smell the ale that clouded his mind. Thorin pushed him against the counter, causing the hobbit to cry out in pain from the sudden force colliding with his back. 

“Thorin, stop!” Bilbo pushed against the dwarf with all his might, with little success. The rough hands clawed at his shirt, shredding the cloth. Thorin’s hand made its way in between Bilbo’s legs. The hobbit pushed Thorin hard, knocking him away for a brief moment.

The anger was embedded in Thorin’s expression and fear plastered to Bilbo’s face. He needed to get past the dwarf, but saw no possible way that would not end in violence. Thorin stood tall and fierce. He began to come closer, but deviated from Bilbo to the glassware that was in sight. 

Bilbo had no time to react. Glass shattered against the walls, falling in shards to the floor. Everything Thorin could get his hands on did not stand a chance. 

Bilbo shouted at Thorin to stop his madness, but he did not hear it. Instead he threw insults towards Bilbo and broke everything in the kitchen.

“You never belonged here! I must’ve been mad to think you did! A Halfling for a husband? What a mistake!” Thorin did not cease his destruction until everything in sight had been desecrated. 

Bilbo left the room and made his way into the main halls of Erebor. He refused to be anywhere close to the King under the Mountain. His hopes for a peaceful night shattered, he sought refuge in the vast library. He added logs to the fire so that it blazed and warmed him where he sat. He had never seen this kind of anger from the dwarf king. The ale was not the only thing at fault here. 

The hobbit felt grief and sorrow flood him for he was at a loss as to what he must do. He did not want to believe the awful things that Thorin had said, but the king’s tone had suggested a truth among his words. Bilbo felt that it was time for him to leave the mountain, no matter how painful it would be to leave his husband behind. 

‘You never belonged here anyway’ was the thought that flooded his mind as he slept.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :)

‘You never belonged here.’ 

Thorin sat on the floor of the kitchen that he had just destroyed; the kitchen that Bilbo loved so much. He felt regret flood him for what he had said to his beloved hobbit. He should never have said nor did the things he had, but what’s done is done. There was nothing to do, but apologize to Bilbo. 

Yet, the dwarf king made no move to get off the floor. He gazed at the sea of glass that lay on the floor around him. Bilbo’s precious dishes he had shattered out of rage. 

He looked up when Fili and Kili entered the room. They seized Thorin and drug him in all his rage to his bedroom, locking the door so that he could not leave it. His shouts were ignored by the two young dwarves as they looked at each other with sadness. 

“We have to do this, Thorin.” Fili said. “You will thank us later.” Then the dwarves left the room. 

Gandalf stood out in the hallway waiting for the two to reappear. Once they did, Gandalf regarded them warily. 

“Is he secure?”

They nodded, Kili speaking first. “We locked him in the bedroom.” 

“He put up a fight, but the ale should start to wear off soon, I should think.” Fili looked to Gandalf for reassurance. 

“Yes, I should hope so too Fili.” Gandalf said. “Our King under the Mountain needs some time to cool off.”

Gandalf nodded and sent the two off so that they might find some way to sleep after wrestling their uncle. The wizard made his way to his own chambers hoping that Thorin would be sober enough in the morning.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo decides to leave :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :)

Master Baggins returned to the king’s chambers the next morning, hoping that his king would be nowhere in sight. As far as Bilbo could tell the king was not in the chambers, but he could be wrong. 

He looked at the mess that was his kitchen. All he could do was sweep up the glass shards and throw them away. Nothing could be salvaged because there was nothing left that was in one piece. Thorin had set his rage upon everything, even the things that Bilbo had made for him. Tears were welling, but Bilbo held them back so that he could begin cleaning up the mess that shattered his heart. 

It took the hobbit a couple hours to clean up the mess. Everything was tied up in a sack; as if it were trash and Bilbo supposed that it was since it was all broken. He stood in the middle of the small room looking at it with sadness. It had once held fond memories for Bilbo, but it no longer was a place of love and peace, but a place of anger and hate. He rubbed at his eyes to attempt to erase his tears that had escaped, but it did not do much good. 

The sound of footsteps caused Bilbo to turn around. Thorin stood in the doorway. He was looking at Bilbo with an unreadable expression. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it after a moment, unable to find the right words. 

Bilbo spoke after a while. “I’m leaving, Thorin.”

“What do you mean?” His tone surprised. 

Bilbo took a deep breath. “I’m going home to the Shire. It is where I belong.” 

Thorin began to approach Bilbo, but stopped when the hobbit held up his hand. 

“Do not make this any harder than it is, Thorin. You were right about my not belonging here and so I am going. Why would you want a Halfling as your husband when you can have someone far more worthy?” 

“Bilbo, I didn’t mean those things I said –”

“Yes, Thorin, you did. I saw it in your eyes and heard it in your voice. And so I must go.”

Bilbo began to walk out of the room when Thorin tried to stop him. 

“Please forgive me, Bilbo –“ 

Bilbo shrugged him off and walked past the dwarf king. His tears were flooding down his cheeks when he finally made it out into the hallways where there were many dwarves going about their business, merry as ever while Bilbo suffered from the pain of his heart breaking.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin realizes what is happening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short, but let me know what you think :)

‘What have I done?’ Thorin thought as he watched Bilbo leave the room. He cannot be serious about leaving. Perhaps he was just too upset and needs time to think about things? The King under the Mountain looked at the spot where Bilbo had been in disbelief. His hobbit could not be leaving. He would not stand for it.

Thorin rushed into the hallway to find it empty, no sign of Bilbo who had left only moments ago. The dwarf king ran down to the library, hoping that his hobbit would be sitting by the fire reading or perhaps enjoying the quiet, but he found that the room was empty. 

He questioned every dwarf he saw whether they has seen his loving hobbit, but not a soul had. Gandalf had apparently been correct in saying that hobbits go by unnoticed by most if those chose too. 

Thorin came across Balin, who was directing dwarves carrying scrolls. 

“Balin, have you seen Bilbo?” Concern reeked in Thorin’s tone, causing Balin to look at him narrowly. 

“No, I haven’t.” 

Thorin moved past the dwarf and continued on to Gandalf’s chambers. The wizard had the best chance of answering Thorin’s questions.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo speaks with Gandalf about his decision to leave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :)

“Have you told him?” Gandalf’s voice was level, only showing concern for the hobbit. 

Bilbo nodded and sighed. “It’s not that he cares whether I stay or go, but I will miss this place for certain.” 

“What about him? Will he be missed, Master Baggins?” 

Bilbo nodded and sniffled. The wizard knelt down and placed a hand on Bilbo’s shoulder. 

“You have a choice, my dear hobbit. But, whichever you choose, know that I will stand by you.” 

Bilbo looked at the wizard and knew that his choice had been made. He did not know whether he would ever return to Erebor, but he hoped that his leaving would help Thorin heal. 

A knock on the door gave warning that Fili and Kili were there. They quietly entered the room and stood by the door. Their expressions matched the way Bilbo felt. His leaving was for the best though and they all knew it was. 

“How long will you be gone?” Kili asked quietly. 

Bilbo shook his head. “I don’t know if I shall ever return. But if that is the case I shall meet you two again somewhere outside of Erebor.” 

The words brought a small smile to Kili’s face, which helped Bilbo with what he was doing. 

“When do you leave?” Fili asked. 

The hobbit looked to Gandalf for the answer since the wizard had arranged his mode of transportation. 

“We leave tomorrow morning so that we may get to a safe place before nightfall. The eagles have agreed to take us as far as Beorn, but that is a long distance even for those magnificent creatures.”

Fili and Kili glanced at each other briefly. 

“What are you hiding?” Gandalf eyed the two dwarves suspiciously. 

“Thorin is looking for Bilbo, running amuck through the halls, asking every dwarf in sight if he has seen you. He will not let you leave so easily.” Fili sighed.

Gandalf smiled. “That is our goal, young Fili.” 

“What do you mean?” Bilbo asked, quite surprised by the admission. 

“We –“ 

A knock on the door interrupted Gandalf, for the visitor did not wait for the door to be answered.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin begs Bilbo to stay with him in Erebor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter made my heart ache, but I hope you like it. Let me know what you think :)

Thorin burst into Gandalf’s chamber to find Kili, Fili, Gandalf, and Bilbo. They were all standing and the dwarf king realized that he had interrupted something. He didn’t ask questions, just went straight to Bilbo. 

“Bilbo, please. I need you to understand that I am truly sorry for last evening. I was not myself.”

The hobbit looked away and tried to move, but Thorin would not let him budge. He wanted to explain himself and set things right with his husband. 

He knelt down in front of Bilbo. “It won’t happen again, my dear hobbit. I swear by it.” 

Bilbo felt tears arising. His mind was set already. 

“I am leaving, Thorin. There will never be another chance for you to do the things you did because I will no longer be here.” 

“Bilbo…” Thorin’s voice cracked, which sent Bilbo’s tears sliding down his cheeks. 

Gandalf moved to Fili and Kili, ushering them out of the door to give them privacy for the last time. 

“Please, my love, do not leave.” Thorin held onto Bilbo like a life force. 

“Thorin, you are sick and need to heal. This place, all of the gold and treasure has possessed you and you’ve let it consume your heart. I no longer have a place there compared to your love of gold.” 

Thorin shook his head. “That’s not true…” 

“Yes it is, Thorin Oakenshield.” 

Bilbo knelt down and took a deep breath. “I love you, Thorin. Never doubt it. But, I cannot stay here any longer.” 

“Bilbo, please…” Thorin touched his hobbit’s cheek. “Please don’t leave.” 

Bilbo stood, feeling his frame shake from the concealed sobs that waited inside of him to be released. Thorin stood and left the room. At that moment Bilbo’s sobs escaped and he collapsed on the floor, cries escaping him until breathing became a chore.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo leaves for the Shire, resting at Beorn's for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :)

The morning came quickly, bright as ever. The sky was lit with beautiful oranges and pinks, creating a vast wonderland of peace. Bilbo only wished that peace was in his heart. He and Gandalf awaited the eagles’ arrival, hoping that they would come in the next briefest moments. Bilbo knew that Thorin would be waking soon, if he was not already and he did not wish to see the King under the Mountain. It was hard enough for Bilbo to leave without an audience. It would be excruciating to have Thorin shouting his name from the ground while Bilbo was flying through the air, leaving the Lonely Mountain behind, along with its dwarf king. 

Gandalf was silent that morning, which was unusual for the wondering wizard who was merry on most occasions. Bilbo supposed that Gandalf did not wish to leave Erebor just yet either, for he quite enjoyed the company of the dwarves and their merry feasts and gatherings. The restoration of Erebor had taken time, but once it regained its former glory Gandalf had felt as much happiness as the dwarves that returned home. Perhaps Erebor had become a home to the wizard as well.

Bilbo looked up into the sky, noticing that the eagles were arriving. He sighed, feeling it deep in his stomach. He hoped that he would not regret his decision, and that one day he would see his beloved dwarf again. 

Gandalf stood as two eagles gracefully landed on the earth. Gandalf spoke to them while Bilbo waited. He was ready to leave when he heard someone approaching from behind. He knew it was Thorin. He tried to keep his gaze ahead so that he would not have to see the dwarf’s expression. Then surprise flooded him when two other eagles arrived, landing next to the others. Bilbo stood and approached Gandalf. 

“Gandalf, why –“ 

The wizard looked to the hobbit and sighed. “Thorin is coming with us, my dear Bilbo.” 

Bilbo’s shock registered and all he could do was look at Gandalf in disbelief. Why hadn’t he been told of this change of plans? Thorin was supposed to stay in his mountain and heal alone; not come to the Shire with him and possibly break everything insight there as well. 

Bilbo shook his head, feeling pain course through his skull. This was going to be a rough journey home. 

“If we are to get as far as Beorn, then we must depart now my dear fellows.” Gandalf said, cheerfully. It was as if the wizard had forgotten the events of the night before last. Bilbo felt confused and hurt, but he had no time to act before he was being put on the back of an eagle. Once Thorin and Gandalf had mounted their own and supplies were grasped by another’s talons they were flying off into the sky. 

The journey was long and tiring for Bilbo, who rested against the glorious eagle. He refused to look in Thorin’s direction so he glanced off towards the distant land masses. The view was warm and beautiful, but it hardly concerned Bilbo at all. He was more concerned about his husband who had been silent the entire trip so far. What had caused Thorin to join them? Bilbo had a lot of questions coursing through his mind and he wasn’t sure that he had the courage to ask for the answers for fear he would not like them. 

He closed his eyes and let his worries drift somewhat while he slept. He awoke once more when the eagles landed in a distant field near Beorn’s house. 

“Master Baggins, we have arrived at our destination.” Gandalf voiced. 

Bilbo carefully dismounted the creature, thanking it for the kind service. Bilbo began to pick up packs that held food and supplies, making his way toward the house. Gandalf and Thorin were behind him a distance and he waited for the two before he knocked on the door. Beorn answered; his expression unreadable. 

“I see that you have made it thus far.” His voice scratchy and deep. 

Gandalf nodded and smiled. “The journey was quite long and tiring, but nevertheless we made it in one piece.”

“In appearance, perhaps.” Beorn eyed Bilbo and Thorin, and then stepped aside to let them pass into the house. 

The atmosphere was warm and inviting, which Bilbo enjoyed. It helped his spirit lift a little. Food was offered and devoured by the three who had not stopped at all along the trip to eat. The eagles had been very precise about being on time, for the forest creatures were restless during the night at times. Safety was a must. After food had been consumed, Beorn offered them a place to sleep. 

“I have two spare rooms. One of you will have to sleep out here on a make-shift bed.” He looked between the three of them. They would have to decide who got the rooms. 

“That is alright, Beorn. I’m sure that Thorin and Bilbo will settle which of them gets the room.” Gandalf smiled and looked to Bilbo. The hobbit did not want to talk about who would be sleeping in the spare room or anything else for that matter. He just wanted to sleep peacefully. 

“I’ll sleep out here,” Bilbo said. “It is of no use to argue over a bed for a night.” 

Beorn nodded and set up a few hay bales across the floor, laying blankets upon them. At least he wouldn’t be sleeping on the floor, Bilbo thought. The others shuffled off into their own sleeping quarters, while Bilbo got comfortable on the straw. It felt nice enough to relax him. The past few days had been hard for him and he was certain that the next few days, weeks, or months would be the same since Thorin would be around. He wanted so much to forgive his dwarf king, but he could not find it in his heart to do so yet. 

~ 

Thorin lay in the bed that Beorn had provided him. It was comfortable, but the largeness of the bed made him wish that Bilbo had chosen to stay in it with him instead of lying upon straw for the night. He was losing his hobbit, day by day, slowly but surely. He came on this trip to prove to the hobbit that he wanted him more than all the gold in Erebor. Bilbo had been right to assume that his mind had been corrupted, but Thorin’s pride denied it until now. He felt a pull on his soul; the gold calling to him from the Lonely Mountain, but he also felt a small weight lifted, a weight that helped him see that Bilbo was what he wanted more. 

He slowly got out of bed and went out to the main room of the house. Bilbo was curled up on the straw, wrapped in a blanket. He looked warm and happy in that moment while he slept. Thorin hoped that his dreams were pleasant. He inched forward only to make the floor creak in one spot. Bilbo roused from sleep and turned to look at him. 

“Thorin?” Bilbo whispered, a little surprised to see the king awake. 

“Yes, Bilbo.” Thorin approached him slowly. 

“Is everything alright?” Bilbo sat up and rubbed sleep from his eyes. Thorin nodded and sat down on the edge facing the hobbit. 

“Would you like to come to bed with me?” 

Bilbo looked at Thorin in disbelief. Why would the King under the Mountain want him to do that? He was at a loss for words.

“It’s not the same without you, my burglar.” Thorin touched Bilbo’s hand gently. He hoped that Bilbo would agree to share the room with him, but he shook his head slightly. 

“I can’t, Thorin.” There was sadness in the hobbit’s voice and Thorin understood. He knew that he had to earn Bilbo’s love again and that it would take time. Thorin nodded and rose to his feet, making his way back into the room. The loneliness of the space next to him bore into his soul. He would make things right with Bilbo; he had too.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo arrives home in the Shire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short, but i thought it might help to at least get them home. Enjoy! :)

The journey across Middle Earth was tiring and ailing to Bilbo. He wanted only to be in his warm bed. The Shire was close enough for him to taste it and he knew that his spirit longed for the familiarity of his home. Thorin had not spoken a word to him after they had left Beorn’s. Gandalf made pleasant conversation along the way, but the quietness was also comforting in a way. Bilbo had sought the nooks and crannies of his mind, thinking of how to better the circumstances. He thought of the help that the dwarf king might provide when cleaning up the house and helping prepare meals, although Bilbo did not exactly need help in those areas. He thought it a good idea to help Thorin relieve his mind of the gold that lay wait in Erebor, the gold that consumed his heart and mind. 

Bilbo wanted Thorin to realize what had happened to their love and help mend it to be greater than before, but he still felt uncertainty. The hobbit had come to understand Gandalf’s reasons behind Thorin coming along. He wanted them to heal together. Bilbo needed healing, but it involved Thorin healing first. 

Bilbo’s thoughts faded as the roads leading to the Shire came into view. Bilbo smiled and began to run down the familiar roads leading to his home. Green fields spreading wide throughout the valleys, cool water in the streams. He ran and ran, leaving Gandalf and Thorin behind. Bilbo slowed when he reached his front gate. His hobbit-hole looked the same and was as ever inviting. He opened the gate and made his way to the front door of his long-awaited home. 

He stepped inside and smiled even though there was dust upon his possessions and in need of a good cleaning. He was finally home, a need that he had not realized so great until now.

Gandalf and Thorin finally reached the hobbit-hole shortly after Bilbo. The two stepped inside Bilbo’s home, shutting the door behind them. The hobbit was fast at work, dusting and cleaning things at a fast pace. Gandalf chuckled. 

“Do you not wish to settle in first, Bilbo?” 

The hobbit shook his head. “There is so much to do. I must dust and get things back to the way they were.”

Gandalf cleared his throat. “Bilbo, you have a guest to settle in as well.” 

Bilbo looked up realizing that Thorin was staying with him in the house as well. 

“Right.” Bilbo walked down the hallway and opened a door to a spare bedroom. It was roomy and homey. Not anything close to the halls of Erebor, but it would have to make due. Thorin made his way down the hallway to the room, looking at Bilbo sadly. 

“It is only proper that I have a separate room from you, Master Baggins.” Bilbo was taken aback, not expecting Thorin to call him out on the matter. Bilbo did not want things this way, but they had to be whether they liked it or not. 

“If you do not want to stay, then leave.” Bilbo whispered, looking into Thorin’s eyes. 

Thorin hesitated, and then said, “I will not leave until things are mended between us, my burglar.” Thorin entered the room and shut the door. Bilbo made his way back down the hall where Gandalf waited. 

“Will you be staying for dinner, Gandalf?” A hopeful smile on his face.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin tests his boundaries with Bilbo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy :)

Thorin watched Bilbo clean up the dishes after supper. The hobbit had been quite cheerful since returning home to the Shire. The first couple of weeks had been an adjustment for Thorin. Bilbo had forced him to help around the house, cleaning and dusting, arranging things so that they were in order. Bilbo did have his ways about things. Bilbo told Thorin that he could help with dinner if it pleased him, but he feared upsetting the hobbit by making a wrong turn. He did make an effort to help clean up after every meal though, which pleased Bilbo. 

He helped Thorin adjust to the domesticity of the Shire, involving him in many activities, such as gardening. There were times when the two had spats about things, ending in each of them alone in his room. There was a desperate calling within Thorin, as if Erebor were just outside the door at times, but his need for Bilbo was greater. There were times when a sexual desire overtook Thorin, causing him to excuse himself to his room for the night and take care of himself while he wished that he could give Bilbo every moment of his intimacy. He often wondered if Bilbo suffered from the same predicament. 

Bilbo had paid visit to many other hobbits in the Shire while they had been in residence. Thorin had accompanied him on a few occasions, but mostly stayed within the confines of Bilbo’s home. There would be occasions in which the two of them spent the evenings together. Bilbo would sit by the fire and read while Thorin thought about how to make things better. He would try to give Bilbo tiny bits of affection, but in many cases the hobbit would turn away or make himself busy to avoid Thorin’s attempts. It was often that Thorin caught Bilbo gazing at him, a slight smile on his face, which gave the dwarf king hope that things could be mended and his hobbit would admit his love once more. 

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Bilbo’s voice. 

“…perhaps.” Bilbo had been babbling on while Thorin had missed the entirety of the words. 

“What are you speaking of, my burglar?” Thorin asked gently. Bilbo shook his head and repeated his words of going to the market the next day and perhaps preparing a feast for when Kili and Fili visited with Gandalf. Thorin nodded and agreed that the dwarves and the wandering wizard would enjoy that thoroughly. 

“You could show them your new skills in preparing food, King under the Mountain,” Bilbo joked. 

“You know that I have been trying, but you are a much better cook than I.” Thorin approached Bilbo slowly, not getting extremely close. He wanted to test his boundaries. 

“You’re getting better every time you try, although it would improve more if you helped every night.” 

Thorin nodded and moved a bit closer. Bilbo noticed and glanced warily at the dwarf king. 

“We will need bundles of food for the party and more ale, not to mention wine. Gandalf quite enjoys the drink.” 

Bilbo gulped, making his Adam’s apple bob. Thorin moved closer until he was right in front of him. 

“What are you doing, Thorin?” Bilbo whispered. 

“I cannot resist you, my burglar.” Thorin gently touched Bilbo’s hand. Bilbo jumped at the touch, but did not move away. Thorin moved his hand upwards, gently grazing Bilbo’s arm until he reached his neck. Thorin paused and looked at Bilbo, who had not made a move or refused him otherwise. Thorin placed his hand on Bilbo’s cheek and leaned closer. 

Bilbo closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. Thorin wanted to kiss the hobbit, showing him how much he missed the touch, but he wanted Bilbo to be okay with it as well. 

“My burglar…” 

Thorin gently kissed Bilbo’s lips, taking care with the hobbit, not wanting to push him too far in that moment. The kiss made him feel his love for Bilbo burn with need and desire. He wanted Bilbo in every way possible, but not tonight. He pulled back slowly and gazed at the hobbit. 

“Bilbo” Thorin whispered. Bilbo opened his eyes and looked at the dwarf king. 

“I..I need to –“ 

Bilbo darted around Thorin and ran off to his room, leaving Thorin standing in the dimly lit kitchen with a need that burrowed deep into his soul.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin is haunted by nightmares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :) Enjoy!

Bilbo was roused from his sleep by an awful cry emanating from the bedroom next door. He clambered out of bed, grabbing his dressing robe and tying the sash, while moving to the door of his room. He entered the hall quickly and made for another door, opening it. The sight was heartbreaking. 

Thorin writhed on the bed, his nightmares overriding the sleep that his body had found solace in. He shouted and screamed, as though someone stood over him intent on murder. Bilbo had never seen such a sight. Thorin’s expression was that of pain and regret. An expression Bilbo knew all too well, unfortunately. 

He moved to the bed and began trying to soothe the dwarf king, but found the nightmares were winning. Bilbo had no other choice than to be more forceful to wake Thorin from his misery. 

“Thorin, wake up.” Bilbo shook Thorin’s shoulder a few times without success. The cries became louder and the thrashing worse. Bilbo got on the bed, straddling the King under the Mountain. Thorin writhed and thrashed underneath the hobbit’s small frame. Bilbo shouted Thorin’s name, shaking him violently, hoping that the dwarf would awake from his terrible fright. 

“Thorin!” Bilbo cried, wanting his dwarf to suffer no more. Thorin’s eyes suddenly open, wide and searching. His breathing was rapid and hard. 

“Bilbo!” Thorin tried to sit up, tears running down his face. 

Bilbo leaned forward touching Thorin’s cheek. 

“It is alright, Thorin. Everything is alright.” Thorin shook his head, the tears worse. 

“No, no, no!” He tried to lean forward once more, but Bilbo gently held him down, trying to get him to relax. 

“Be still. It was just a dream.” Bilbo made soothing noises, which helped the dwarf king’s breathing calm. 

Bilbo allowed him to sit up once he had calmed somewhat. Bilbo sat in Thorin’s lap, still caressing his cheek, hoping that he would be able to rest. 

“My Thorin, what ails you in your sleep?” Bilbo’s voiced laced with concern, his eyes searching Thorin’s for an answer. 

“It was like a sequence.” Thorin shook his head. “I watched my grandfather, enthralled by his gold, risking his life for it when Smaug came. The gold sickness overwhelming him to a point that he would not part with it until I tore him away.” 

Thorin closed his eyes. “Then it moved to when we first met, here in your hobbit-hole. Then I saw you being held up by those trolls about to have your limbs removed from your body. When you willing entered Erebor, facing a dragon that could’ve killed you. All for the Arkenstone. I watched myself push you away before the Battle of Five Armies, the sickness’s first attempt on my mind.” 

“Thorin…” Bilbo whispered. 

“I felt such remorse when I found that you had been injured during the battle. I love you with such force that I would’ve taken it all back to have kept you safe.”

“Thorin, those things were not your fault.” Bilbo tried. 

“There were. I’ve hurt you so much. Caused so much grief, crushing your spirit when all you did was love me. My recent actions have haunted me so. I’ve let the sickness consume my heart, where all I wanted was for you to belong. All I want is your happiness, your love, and to love you.”

Thorin sat up, embracing Bilbo, holding him close. Bilbo returned the embrace. 

“I cannot lose you,” Thorin whispered, burying his face against Bilbo’s chest, the hobbit’s robe absorbing the dwarf king’s tears. He looked at Bilbo.

“I love you.” 

Bilbo was quiet. He wanted to say those words with ferocity, with a deep need to let Thorin in and love him once more, but he could not muster the strength. 

“Stay with me tonight.” Thorin said. Bilbo nodded and climbed down off the bed. He took hold of Thorin’s hand and led him to his bedroom. He helped Thorin settle in and he climbed into bed next to him. He faced him as they lay together, close enough to touch, but not embracing. Bilbo watched as Thorin allowed sleep to take him once again. Bilbo hoped that the dwarf king would find peace in his sleep at last.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arguments occur, guests arrive, and things get heated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :) Enjoy!

The market was very crowded the day that Bilbo and Thorin ventured to it. There were hobbits everywhere, along with the many goods that were being sold. Bilbo watched Thorin gaze wide-eyed at all the commotion. He found it amusing that the dwarf king was trying to buy vegetables amongst the hobbits. The King under the Mountain stood out drastically compared to Bilbo, who blended in of course. He was sure that somewhere along the way Thorin would lose him to the crowd, but he was wrong. Thorin always seemed to find Bilbo, even among the largest group of hobbits that surrounded him.

Bilbo laughed as he watched young hobbits no older than his nephew Frodo run around the dwarf’s legs. Thorin looked as if the children would try to climb up his thick frame as if he were a mountain. There were also the lingering gazes of female hobbits, who were undressing Thorin with their eyes. Bilbo approached the dwarf king before the children caused him anymore worries, which would’ve been most amusing for Bilbo, so that they may make their purchases and walk home.

The two made their way back to the hobbit-hole, making polite conversation along the way.

“When do you suppose they will arrive?” Bilbo asked. They had been expecting Kili, Fili, and Gandalf, not exactly knowing when they would make their appearance in the Shire.

“Soon I should suspect. Those two dwarves are always on time for a feast.” Thorin smiled.

“I hope that we got enough food for the lot of us.” Bilbo did not want his pantry pillaged again when he had just got it restocked.

“I’m sure it’s plenty, my burglar.” Thorin gave him a reassuring smile. Bilbo hardly noticed after the way Thorin had called him “his.” Bilbo was still trying to get past everything that had happened between them and he wished nothing more than forgiving Thorin at that moment, but he couldn’t.

“Something wrong, Bilbo?” Thorin had noticed the hobbit’s brief silence. Bilbo shook his head.

“Just thinking about everything we will need to do to prepare for our visitors.”  The rest of the walk was quiet, which Bilbo was thankful for.

~

Preparing food for dwarves was tricky business. There was so much food to cook that Bilbo wasn’t sure they would finish before their guests arrived. He was sure that they wouldn’t if it hadn’t been for Thorin. He was there to help Bilbo with everything: cooking, cleaning dishes, setting the table, etc. After most of the food had been prepared Bilbo had Thorin help him with getting rooms ready when they encountered a problem. Bilbo only had three spare rooms, one of which was occupied by Thorin.

Bilbo looked at the hallway where the spare rooms stared back at him in amusement. Thorin stood next to him and they both realized what would have to happen for their guest to stay. Bilbo looked at Thorin with no other choice.

“You’ll have to move your things into my room if we’re all to fit in this hole.” Thorin looked shocked, and then nodded slowly.

“Bilbo –“

“This is the way it has to be for now. I am not letting you stay in there to please everyone else nor to please you. Things are not as they were before between us.”

Thorin was taken aback. He had not expected Bilbo to get worked up over this. His words hit the dwarf king like a brick, hard and harsh.

“I did not say they were. I’m trying to make things right with you, but you won’t even try to work through the issues with me, Bilbo. Ever since we arrived here you have shut me out acting like I’m a plague.”

“I didn’t ask you to come here.” Bilbo spat. “If it weren’t for Gandalf, you would not be. You would be in Erebor guarding your gold just like Smaug.”

“Bilbo-“ The hobbit stepped back.

Thorin reached out. “Why won’t you let me in so we can fix things?”

“They would not need fixing if you hadn’t broken them!” Bilbo shouted, only realizing too late what damage he had done. Thorin stepped back. He gazed upon the hobbit with hurt in his eyes.

“I never meant to hurt you.” Thorin began to retreat down the hallway, when Bilbo reached out to him. He shook him off, leaving him alone in the small home.

~

Nightfall drew near before Thorin returned to the hobbit-hole. He felt so much remorse and pain coursing through him. He was trying to make things right with Bilbo, but his hobbit refused him at every step. Bilbo was beginning to feel less like his husband and more like a stranger every day. Maybe that was how he saw Thorin as well. Maybe he should have stayed in Erebor and let Bilbo move on with his life. It was obvious that he did not care for Thorin the way he used to.

As he approached the small home, he heard the laughter of his kin emanating from inside. Kili and Fili had beaten him there. Thorin hoped that they had already eaten supper without him. He was in no mood for pleasantries. He opened the door as quietly as he could, but it was no use. Kili and Fili spotted him before he had come into the house completely.

“Where have you been, Uncle? We were sure that you would’ve made it in time for supper.” Kili said cheerfully. Thorin tried to sound happy to see his nephews, but his spirit was not up to the task.

“My head needed clearing. I will eat later.”

The dwarves let him move into the other room where he settled into an armchair. He stared into the fire for a long while losing track of time.

~

Bilbo showed kili, Fili, and Gandalf to their rooms after supper. The three had had a long journey and needed proper rest. Thorin had not been here to welcome them, which had surprised Bilbo. He knew that Thorin was angry with him, but he thought that he would’ve come back in time to greet his kin. Bilbo had cleaned up alone, fixing Thorin a plate of food to eat later when he woke. He would not allow him to starve even if he was mad at the world. Well, perhaps not the world, but to Bilbo it felt that way.

The hobbit walked into the sitting room where Thorin had fallen asleep in Bilbo’s favorite armchair. He looked peaceful, but there was a hint of pain underneath the façade that masked the dwarf’s face. Bilbo knelt down in front of the dwarf king quietly. He remembered when he and Thorin would sit together in the library, Bilbo reading and Thorin playing with his curly hair. There had been many occasions where Thorin would pull Bilbo up off the floor and into his lap, playfully kissing his neck. Bilbo would then turn around, straddling Thorin, kissing him passionately. The two of them would end up on the furs that lay upon the library floor, naked, bodies coming together as one. Bilbo had always cherished those moments when he and Thorin were able to take advantage of their intimacy. The sparks were bright and hot, burning wildly for one another. That is until Thorin’s mind began to decay, greed consuming him like a disease. Thorin began to spend hours in the gold room. He would go days without speaking to Bilbo, unaware of his husband walking up to him. Thorin would push past and go on his way. He began to consume more ale as well. The sickness and ale would cloud his mind from all proper judgment, leading him to be destructive, especially towards his husband.

Bilbo felt his eyes water and he took a deep breath. He looked at Thorin and decided that he needed to go to bed instead of sleeping in the armchair and risk getting a crick in his neck. The hobbit gently shook Thorin until his eyelids fluttered open. The King under the Mountain sat up slowly, stretching.

“I thought you might like to go lay down in the bed instead of sleeping in the armchair all night.” Bilbo folded his hands in his lap and continued kneeling on the floor.

“I think I might eat something before I sleep anymore.” Thorin yawned.

“I fixed you a plate. It’s in the kitchen.” Bilbo stood and made his way to his bedroom.

~

Thorin sat at the table eating his food that had gone cold from earlier. He wished that he had made it back on time when everything was warm, but he had not. His anger had controlled him wholeheartedly, which he regretted. He should’ve admitted to Bilbo that everything was his fault; that they were both here because he had ruined their marriage.

_What a mess_ , Thorin thought. _All because of gold and ale_.

Thorin looked up from his plate to realize Gandalf had entered the kitchen. He made himself comfortable at the table across from Thorin.

“What are you doing, Thorin?”

The dwarf king shook his head. “I’ve no clue what you mean.”

“Don’t let your pride be your downfall, Thorin Oakenshield.” Thorin looked at Gandalf.

“What do you suggest I do?”

“Go to him. He loves you, Master Dwarf. He just needs to know that you feel the same.”

“I’ve tried,” Thorin said, shaking his head. “He will not accept my affections. He avoids my touch and my attempts to mend what I broke. Perhaps I should go back to Erebor and leave him in peace.” Sadness filled the dwarf’s voice. He didn’t know what else to do to convince Bilbo of his love.

“You mustn’t give up, Thorin. You will figure something out.” Gandalf gave him a knowing glance and departed from the table. Thorin finished his meal and cleaned the dishes. He made his way to Bilbo’s room, where the door was slightly ajar. Thorin entered the room quietly, shutting the door behind him. Bilbo was lying in bed. The dwarf king could not tell whether the hobbit was awake or not, but he took careful measure to keep quiet. He undressed and climbed into the bed next to Bilbo.

Thorin adjusted as gently as he could manage, hoping that he would not wake Bilbo if he was asleep. He just began to close his eyes when he felt Bilbo shifting position in the bed. Thorin glanced at his burglar and saw his eyes were open.

“I didn’t mean to wake you…” Thorin whispered.

“You didn’t. I couldn’t sleep.” Bilbo sighed.

Thorin turned on his side and faced Bilbo. “What is the matter, my burglar?”

Bilbo hesitated. “I-I’m sorry for shouting at you earlier.”

“You were fully entitled. I deserved it.” Thorin’s gaze bore into Bilbo’s.  “I’m responsible for hurting you. I would change it if I could. I would take everything back, Bilbo. But, what’s done is done. All we can do is move forward from here. I want to make things right, if you will let me.”

Bilbo sniffled. The dwarf king moved closer to Bilbo, cupping his cheek.

“Let me love you, my dear burglar.” Thorin was close enough for their lips to meet, but he would not make the first move. It was up to Bilbo. Thorin wanted to know that he was in this with him. He waited patiently.

“I never stopped loving you, Thorin.” Bilbo said, his voice breaking. He met Thorin’s lips in a rush, their lips crashing together. There was hunger and need in that kiss. Bilbo held onto Thorin’s shoulders, pulling him on top of him. Thorin kissed Bilbo with all his might, taking in as much of Bilbo’s love as possible. It had been months since they had kissed, even longer since they had been intimate with one another. Thorin wanted all of Bilbo right then, but knew now was not the time. They needed to get past all of their issues before they came to this step once more. Thorin reluctantly pulled back.

“I want this, Thorin.” Bilbo was looking up at the dwarf with need burning deep inside.

“I do too, but we must wait. We need to work through other things before we come to this, my Bilbo.” Thorin shifted his weight to lie beside the hobbit. Bilbo nodded in agreement and looked at the dwarf king. Bilbo moved to lie next to Thorin, the feeling of closeness comforting. Thorin wrapped his arm around the hobbit’s middle, knowing that this was the first step to healing both of them.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Working things out is easier said than done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :) Enjoy!

The many weeks that had passed since Thorin had gained a small distance with Bilbo had been touch and go. Bilbo would have moments where he hesitated with Thorin and trying to talk through the events that had happened between them. Bilbo’s eyes would cloud and he would break contact between them. Thorin knew it was painful for Bilbo to recall all of the incidents that Thorin had started, but the dwarf king felt guilt and sorrow ailing himself as well. They decided that taking walks helped when they needed to talk as well. Bilbo would lead the way through unmarked paths around the Shire so that they may have private moments for Kili, Fili, and Gandalf still resided with them.

Sharing a bedroom had been a task amongst the many challenges they were facing. They were both tempted with sexual desires that they could not act upon. They knew that issues still existed between them and had made it clear that their problems received first priority. They both made an effort to do things together, no matter the task. Thorin had insisted upon that as much as Bilbo persisted. The hobbit disliked Thorin’s method of cleaning up around the house even though it got things done quicker with his help. Bilbo could not hold onto the frustration that coursed through him for long though because Thorin would always smile at him after he had done something.

They had visitors come occasionally to Bilbo’s cozy hobbit-hole, but it was mostly family. Bilbo had happily agreed to watch his nephew, Frodo, for a day while his parents went into Bree. The young hobbit had been adventurous, exploring every room in the house, even inspecting Kili, Fili, and Gandalf. Bilbo laughed heartily when Frodo had exclaimed, “Real dwarves, Uncle Bilbo! Where did you get them?” As if Bilbo had went to the market and bought them.

Bilbo had encouraged Frodo to play outside, forcing Kili and Fili to accompany him. The young dwarves had gladly gone with Frodo, pretending to be fighting dragons, even though they knew the reality of the young hobbit’s fantasies. Gandalf had made his way outside as well, assisting Frodo, allowing small fireworks to go off for dramatic effect in his game. Bilbo stood at the window, watching the four enjoy their merry game, a smile never leaving Frodo’s face.

Thorin moved behind Bilbo, placing his hands on his hips and resting his chin on the hobbit’s shoulder. Bilbo accepted the gentle touches.

“He’s quite a hobbit,” Thorin said, chuckling. “He makes the heirs of Erebor easily surrender under his mighty fireworks.”

Bilbo laughed at that, turning slightly to gaze at Thorin.

“He reminds me of a certain hobbit that helped slay a dragon many years ago.” Thorin turned Bilbo to fully face him. The hobbit looked upon the dwarf king’s face, a smile pulling at his lips.

“Can you imagine tiny hobbits running around Erebor, Kili and Fili chasing them about while you sit upon the throne?” Thorin was quiet for a moment before nodding.

“I would have it no other way.”

Bilbo smiled shyly, looking down. Thorin touched his cheek, bringing his attention back up. Their lips met, igniting flames once more. Bilbo wrapped his hands around Thorin’s neck, while Thorin pushed him against the counter, his hands touching Bilbo everywhere. Soft moans escaped Bilbo’s lips when the kiss ended momentarily.

“I need you,” Bilbo said, his voice breathless. Thorin moved closer, pressing the hobbit against the counter even more. Bilbo felt the wood pressing against his back, a slight discomfort going through him. Thorin kissed him once more and Bilbo momentarily forgot the ache and felt Thorin’s hands roaming over him, caressing everywhere. When Thorin pulled back from their kiss he looked breathless, just as Bilbo felt. Thorin rested his forehead against Bilbo’s.

“Halfling,” Thorin moaned, pressing against Bilbo even more.

That’s when it all came flooding back. Bilbo blinked, but all he saw was the memory of that night that caused this mess. Thorin had him pinned against the counter, forcing himself upon the hobbit. Bilbo pushed him hard, forcing him away. The dwarf’s words were clear within his mind.

_“You will not refuse me.”_

Thorin had destroyed the kitchen, screaming insults at Bilbo who watched his world crumble around him.

_“You never belonged here! I must’ve been mad to think you did! A Halfling as a husband? What a mistake!”_

Bilbo pushed Thorin away from him. He heard the dwarf’s voice calling his name, but was afraid to open his eyes. He didn’t want to see the angry King under the Mountain, fist raised, and bent on hurting the one thing that loved him. Bilbo cowered on the floor of his kitchen, sobbing uncontrollably. His body shook and he had no way of stopping it.

~

Thorin watched Bilbo crumble to the floor, fear seething through his pores. He had never seen the hobbit in this condition before. He tried to hold him, but Bilbo was not having it. He shrunk away and shook every time Thorin touched him.

“Bilbo,” Thorin tried to speak gently, as not to cause his burglar anymore distress. He heard voices coming into the kitchen, looking up to see Fili holding Frodo’s small hand. The young hobbit looked scared.

“Why is Uncle Bilbo crying?” Frodo tried to come forward, but Fili held onto him and knelt down.

“Let’s walk to the market and get some peaches, yes? They’re Bilbo’s favorite and he will feel better if we go get him some.” Frodo looked as if he wanted to argue, but then decided to nod. He gave Thorin a look of hate before leaving the room. Thorin called to Fili, who sent Frodo with Kili and Gandalf.

“What is going on, Thorin?” Fili made sure to keep a safe distance.

“I’m not sure, but try to stall for as long as you can.” Thorin pleaded to Fili. The young dwarf nodded and left the room. Thorin redirected his attention to Bilbo who was still sobbing.

“My burglar, please look at me.” Thorin tried reaching out to touch Bilbo’s shoulder only making him cry out.

“P-please…don’t h-hurt me.” Bilbo sobbed, his voice stuttering. Thorin eased closer to Bilbo slowly, holding his hands up.

“I would never hurt you, my dear Bilbo.” The hobbit shook in fear, truly terrified that Thorin would beat him.

“Bilbo, please. Let me see those beautiful eyes of yours.” Thorin hoped that the hobbit would at least be able to look at him. After a few moments, he did open his eyes to look at the dwarf king. Thorin kept his hands visible so that Bilbo would feel safe.

“Talk to me, my love. What has upset you so?” Bilbo took shaky breaths, trying to suppress his sobs.

“I r-remembered that n-night in the kitchen.” Bilbo tried to keep his voice level. Thorin inched a little closer.

“Go on.” Thorin gazed at his hobbit.

“I heard your words like they were being said right then. ‘You never belonged here! I must’ve been mad to think so! A Halfling for a husband? What a mistake!’” Bilbo trembled, tears running down his face. Thorin then realized what had set Bilbo off; his use of the term “Halfling.”

“It was never a mistake, my love.” Thorin looked at Bilbo, who returned the glance.

“It was a mistake to say those things to you when I only did it to spite you. I never meant them and I was wrong to say those things. I love you, Bilbo and I will never hurt you again.” Thorin had never realized how his actions had affected Bilbo until then. He hoped that his hobbit would not have this impending fear forever etched in his heart.

“Please, Bilbo, believe me when I tell you that I would never lay a hand upon you intent on destruction. Please…” Thorin pleaded to his hobbit. Bilbo made a tentative movement, reaching for Thorin’s hand.

The dwarf king let Bilbo come to him, settling in his lap on the kitchen floor. Thorin held the hobbit gently and hoped that Bilbo understood that Thorin meant him no harm. Bilbo rested his head on Thorin’s chest and breathed deeply. They sat like that for a while until Thorin had soothed the hobbit enough to convince him to let Thorin carry him to his room. Thorin had laid Bilbo upon the bed and sat next to him.

“Do you wish me to stay while you rest?” Thorin had asked, but Bilbo had declined his offer. Bilbo wanted to sleep and the dwarf king agreed to his request. Thorin sat in one of the armchairs in the den until he heard the door to the hobbit-hole open, signaling Kili, Fili, Frodo, and Gandalf’s return.

~

“Can I take Uncle Bilbo his peaches?” Frodo asked. Fili had looked to Thorin for the answer.

“I think that he may be sleeping. He was very tired.” Thorin looked at Frodo, who was staring back with a hateful expression. He knew then that Frodo did not like to see his uncle hurting, just like Thorin. The dwarf king sighed and looked around the kitchen. He supposed that it could not hurt for Bilbo to eat something.

“Put the peaches in a bowl and we’ll take them to him.” Thorin said to Frodo, who quickly obliged. The two of them walked to Bilbo’s room and knocked on the door softly before entering. Thorin knelt next to Frodo.

“Go ahead,” he whispered, watching the small hobbit go into the dark room. He sat the peaches on the bed near Bilbo’s middle.

“Uncle Bilbo, I brought you some peaches.” Frodo touched his uncle’s hand gently. Bilbo opened his eyes to look upon his nephew’s face.

“That’s a good lad.” Bilbo whispered. He glanced down at the bowl. “Did you pick these out yourself?”

Frodo nodded and smiled. “Fili said that peaches would make you feel better so I picked out the bestest ones ‘cause I want you to be able to play dragons with me outside.”

Bilbo chuckled softly and smiled. “These will do the trick then. We’ll be slaying dragons in no time, dear Frodo.” The young hobbit smiled brightly.

“But, I need to rest for a while and eat all these peaches before we have our adventures.”

Frodo nodded, still smiling.

“Why don’t you go tell Fili and Kili about our new-planned adventures while I eat this bounty you have brought me?”

Frodo nodded and came back towards Thorin. Once he was in the hallway he ran to the kitchen calling Fili’s name. Thorin shook his head and entered Bilbo’s room, shutting the door.

“He’s quite excited.” Thorin observed. Bilbo nodded and sat up, repositioning the bowl of peaches. They sat in silence for a few moments until Bilbo spoke.

“I know it mustn’t have been easy to see me hurting.” Thorin nodded and gently held the hobbit’s hand.

“I’m just glad that you’re okay.”

Bilbo squeezed Thorin’s hand, reassuring the dwarf king that he was.

“I do believe that I have made an enemy out of your nephew though.”

“How is that?” Bilbo half laughed.

“He is very protective over you, Bilbo. He does not like to see you hurting.” Bilbo nodded. He took a deep breath and moved closer to Thorin.

“He will come around, I’m sure.” Bilbo leaned in and kissed the King under the Mountain softly. Thorin let him control the pace, not wanting a repeat of earlier events. They both knew that this was going to take more time than they expected, but it was worth creating a better future that they would both share together.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo and the dwarves go to a party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a while to figure out what I wanted to do with this chapter. But I think that it's time for things to get better for these two love birds. Let me know what you think :) Enjoy!

Months had passed by, fall approaching fast. The colors of the leaves had begun to change colors and the air was beginning to cool. Thorin and Bilbo had been away from Erebor for almost six months now. There had been little incident since Bilbo’s panic attack that had occurred in the kitchen. Thorin had made sure to tread lightly, hoping that one day Bilbo would have the strength to move past everything. The hobbit had been allowing small touches from the dwarf king and they had talked through the issue of Thorin’s drinking and how it affected the gold sickness, but they had not been able to quite broach the subject of Thorin being able to heal from that.

The day was relatively warm, a slight breeze blowing through the air. Bilbo and Thorin sat upon the bank of the river, talking and gazing upon the hobbits that were working on the other side of the water. Thorin found happiness in seeing his husband laughing once more, freely. He could not remember the last time that he had seen a smile so genuine on Bilbo’s face. He was beautiful, the breeze blowing through his golden curls, his eyes showing true happiness. Thorin never wanted him to stop smiling. He gently reached out and tucked a stray curl behind the hobbit’s ear. Bilbo looked at the King under the Mountain.

“Perhaps we should spend more time here in the Shire,” Thorin suggested, Bilbo gazing at him curiously.

“What do you mean?”

“We could spend a year in the Shire every so often. Get away from the Lonely Mountain.”

Bilbo’s eyes widened with surprise. “You would do that for me?” Thorin nodded, smiling softly.

“I would surrender my throne to Fili and Kili to be with you, my burglar,” Thorin said. Bilbo was quiet, not sure of what to say.

“I see how much this place brings you happiness, Bilbo. That’s all I want for you…to be happy.” Thorin cupped Bilbo’s cheek, leaning in to kiss him. Thorin felt the truth of his words course through him knowing he would give up all of the gold in Erebor, even the Arkenstone, to be with his beloved Bilbo. He just needed to prove it to him.

~

They surrounded the table looking at Bilbo. The dwarves of Erebor were trying to contain their laughter.

“You want us to convince Thorin son of Thrain to go to a party?” Kili asked, amused.

Bilbo nodded. He had received the invitation in the mail that morning. He wanted to go, offering for the dwarves to join him. He especially wanted his dwarf king to accompany him, but he was certain that Thorin would refuse. He was not very sociable at the best of times, especially with unfamiliar hobbits. He would stand out and gather attention just by the way he dressed; the furs that lined his cloaks, his boots, and especially his beard. He had decided to continue wearing his own clothes instead of allowing Bilbo to make him garments that were common in the Shire. He had not argued over the matter though. He quite enjoyed seeing Thorin stand out. He was regal in that aspect and it made Bilbo want him even more.

“It’ll only be for a couple of hours. I’m not asking him to spend two weeks there.”

“He doesn’t dance,” Fili laughed. “He’ll never agree to this madness.”

“Bribe him,” Bilbo said.

“With what?” Kili asked.

“Something he hasn’t had in a while.” The dwarves gave each other a look, smirks on their faces. Bilbo was sure that he wouldn’t approve of their ideas of trickery, but he didn’t ask about it.

“Alright, Master Baggins. We’re on it.” Fili said. With that the young heirs to the throne departed from the table, leaving Bilbo to wonder what he had just gotten himself into.

~

The night was breezy as Bilbo made his way towards the small lights that lit up the bank of the river. There were hobbits everywhere, many of which Bilbo was related. He watched as the merriment surrounded everyone. There were those who were dancing, some playing music, and children running around playing games. Bilbo was able to pick Frodo out of the many young hobbits. His nephew looked pleased to be there. Bilbo sat on the river bank listening to the music that filled the air. He had lost Fili and Kili among the crowd and Thorin had stayed at home. Gandalf was busy setting up his fireworks and Bilbo wished that he didn’t feel so lonely in that moment.

He wished that Thorin had come so that he could experience the event with him. He watched Frodo running up to Gandalf, asking about the fireworks. Bilbo found himself smiling at the memory of when Old Took would have them on Mid-Summer’s Eve. Those displays had been remarkable, enchanting many hobbits who witnessed the spectacle. The young hobbit that Bilbo had seen only a moment ago had disappeared briefly before he saw him making his way towards him. Frodo ran to Bilbo, pulling on his hand.

“Come dance, Uncle Bilbo.” He complied, following his young nephew to the dance floor. Many of the lights floated in the air, obviously Gandalf’s doing. When they reached the dancing area Bilbo noticed the crowd lining the edges. In the middle of the lights stood Thorin son of Thrain, smiling. Frodo looked up at Bilbo also smiling. He handed his uncle to Thorin, who took his hands. Bilbo smiled as the music slowed and Thorin placed a hand on his waist, pulling him close. Bilbo placed his remaining hand on the dwarf king’s shoulder and they began dancing slowly.

“I thought you weren’t coming,” Bilbo said.

“I changed my mind, my burglar.” Thorin smiled, looking into Bilbo’s eyes. Bilbo let Thorin lead him around the dance floor, noticing his relatives gazing at the two of them. Bilbo felt pride fill him. He was finally able to show Thorin off to the hobbits that thought he was strange enough as it was. Bilbo’s smile faltered for a moment when he thought about Thorin being his. Was he really? Or were they just pretending that things were aflame once more? Thorin noticed Bilbo’s expression.

“What’s wrong, Bilbo?” Thorin whispered so that the surrounding hobbits could not hear. Bilbo let out a small sigh.

“Why did you do this?” Bilbo looked at Thorin with a steady gaze, pure curiosity in his expression.

“I knew how much this meant to you. I came for you.”

“What did Fili and Kili promise you?” Bilbo asked, accusation in his tone. Thorin tried to hide the hurt that weaved its way into his eyes.

“Ale.” Thorin said. Bilbo’s expression turned to shock and he began to pull away from the dwarf king. He knew that he told the young dwarves to convince Thorin somehow, but he had not expected it to affect him the way it did. Bilbo could tell that he hadn’t drunk anything close to ale, but he was still upset.

“Bilbo, I declined their offer. I gave up ale for good. It is not worth losing you over again.” He let out an audible breath. “I have no motivation other than you, I swear it.” Bilbo looked at him.

“You gave up ale?” Thorin nodded, keeping eye contact with the hobbit. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Bilbo asked.

“It did not matter. I wanted to show you that I am serious about being with you, even if I have to give up my throne.” Thorin kissed Bilbo’s hand that he was holding. The hobbit began to smile at what Thorin had done for him.

“I love you, Thorin.” Bilbo smiled brightly at the dwarf king. Thorin leaned closer whispering, “And I you.” Their lips met and flames burned through them. Thorin held onto Bilbo tighter as the hobbit looped his arms around the dwarf’s neck, their kiss deepening. They pulled back when they heard hands clapping and people whistling. They looked around to see the many hobbits smiling and cheering them. Fili and Kili were the ones whistling. Bilbo knew that he was no longer plagued by what had happened between them any longer. He only wanted to be with Thorin, happy once more.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter of this fic. Let me know what you think :) Enjoy!

Thorin laid Bilbo in front of the fire place, unbuttoning his shirt so that he may remove it. He had waited for so long to make love to his hobbit that it was hard to go slow when he wanted to inhale all of Bilbo at once. He tried to refrain from shredding the layers of cloth covering Bilbo, but he needed the Halfling naked before him. It seemed as if Bilbo understood because he helped Thorin with the clothes until both of them were bare to one another.

Thorin gazed upon Bilbo, noticing the glow of the flames dancing on his skin. Thorin ran his hands over the hobbit’s middle, flicking his nails across the taut nipples. He watched as Bilbo closed his eyes at the soft caresses, leaning into Thorin’s hands.

Thorin pulled Bilbo into his lap, kissing his neck and jaw line lovingly. Bilbo raked his nails across the dwarf king’s shoulders before tangling his fingers in Thorin’s thick dark locks.

“I’ve missed you,” Thorin whispered against Bilbo’s neck. The hobbit felt the dwarf’s thick erection pressing against his butt. He reached into Thorin’s lap, taking hold of his length. Thorin pulled back to gaze at the hobbit.

“Bilbo…”

“Is something wrong?” Bilbo asked, seeing Thorin shake his head. “I want to pleasure you, Thorin.”

Thorin gently brought Bilbo’s hand up from the erection.

“I want to show you how much I’ve missed you. Let me take care of you right now.” Thorin kissed Bilbo’s lips. “There will be plenty of time for blow jobs in the future.” Thorin smiled.

He continued admiring his hobbit, kissing all over his body while Bilbo held onto his shoulders. Thorin had missed having these loving moments. He couldn’t remember why they had ceased before. He pulled Bilbo closer, resting a hand on the small of his back.

“Are you ready?” Thorin whispered. Bilbo nodded, reaching behind his back to position Thorin’s erection at his entrance. Thorin kissed Bilbo while he entered him slowly. Bilbo moaned against the dwarf king’s lips, feeling his hole stretch wide to accommodate Thorin’s length.

“You’re very tight, my burglar,” Thorin gasped, looking at Bilbo. The hobbit nodded, his eyes closed. Thorin thrust up gently, causing Bilbo to dig his nails into the dwarf’s skin.

“Am I hurting you, my love?”

Bilbo shook his head. ‘It’s just…been so…long.”

“We’ll go slow.” Thorin waited for Bilbo to move his hips and begin at his own pace. After a few minutes the Halfling adjusted to the thickness and took the length deep. Both of them held onto each other, kissing and moaning, entranced in one another. The world seemed far away as they breathed one another in, becoming one over and over for a time.

“Bilbo,” Thorin moaned as he felt ecstasy take over his body, shudders coursing through him. The hobbit kissed Thorin hard as he spilled onto his stomach, loud moans filling the air.

The two of them looked into each other’s eyes relishing the moment. Thorin felt his love growing and growing while he gazed at his husband, who seemed to be glowing from the fire’s gaze.

~

_A Week Later_

“Shall we go to bed?” Thorin kissed Bilbo underneath his ear as he finished cleaning the small kitchen. The hobbit smiled, nodding. They had a long journey ahead of them the next day as they made their way back to Erebor. After the two had talked it over they both decided it was time to return to the Lonely Mountain. They had been away for months now and felt they had healed enough to return home with promises of making trips to the Shire every so often.

Bilbo had worried about the gold reclaiming Thorin’s mind once they were settled within the halls of the mighty kingdom, but he tried to clear the thoughts by remembering how Thorin had given up ale for him. He had to have some faith in the dwarf king if they were to make it together.

Thorin had noticed his husband’s anxiety towards the journey, but he did not know how to reassure Bilbo any further than he already had. All he could do was hope for the best.

As they finished in the kitchen they heard their three guests talking in the den by the fire. Bilbo approached them quietly, going unnoticed at first until he had caught most of the conversation.

“I think we should tell them,” Kili said. “It’s time, especially since he hasn’t noticed.”

“Noticed what?” Bilbo asked making the three men start. Gandalf looked at Bilbo as if he had not known it was his house they were in.

“I trust Thorin is around the corner, yes?” Gandalf said, producing Thorin.

“What is it you need to tell us?” Thorin demanded. Bilbo took hold of Thorin’s hand as they looked at the others, waiting.

“This.” Fili held his hand out, producing the Arkenstone. “It has been here since we arrived. We brought it to test your strength in healing.”

Bilbo gazed up at Thorin son of Thrain whose eyes had gone wide.

“Thorin,” Bilbo whispered, hoping that the dwarf king would not be entranced by the stone.

“Let me see that,” Thorin said, reaching for the jewel. Bilbo felt his hope fading as his husband inspected the king’s jewel. He wanted Thorin to give it back to Fili, but he didn’t.

“This is yours now, my burglar,” Thorin said, turning to Bilbo and placing the jewel in his hand.

“I don’t understand,” Bilbo stammered.

“You are my world, my only love.” Thorin touched Bilbo’s cheek. “I’m giving you the Arkenstone because I do not want it. All I need is you.”

Bilbo smiled and kissed Thorin hard. He had been worried about the gold consuming Thorin once again that he had not realized Thorin’s strength to give up everything for the hobbit was great. If Thorin could resist the Arkenstone, the most powerful jewel in Erebor, he could resist the mountains of gold too.

Thorin lifted Bilbo up, carrying him to their room, stripping the hobbit of his clothing. Thorin knew that all he ever wanted from that moment on was his beloved husband and he was going to start taking advantage of being with Bilbo that very moment.


End file.
